Making a Fruit of Me

There is beauty and absurdity in wombs as the machines for life, full of the visceral fragility that comes from loving and creation.

Tervan:Making a Fruit of Me tapestry (7x10 feet)
2022, Industrially knitted tapestry with painting and embroidery
ON VIEW-The Wassaic Project "Tournament of Lies"
Summer Exhibition

Tervan: Making a Fruit of me (2020, 20.5x14in)
Acrylic gouache painting on paper)


The composition of Tervan: Making a Fruit of Me started when my niece was born.  A Tervan is a Punjabi tradition where the woman stays in one room for captive care and recuperation. For 13 days we all stayed in the house taking care of the newborn human and her mother. Celebrating this new life and its emergence from its container

Everyone is born, many give birth themselves. Birth is so mundane, yet to see a new life emerge from its container is amazing (and rarely recorded in detail in history.) 

There is beauty and absurdity in wombs as the machines for life, full of the visceral fragility that comes from loving and its creation. 

During my residency at the Icelandic Textile center, I heard a lecture on the history of weaving which spoke of the symbol of the red thread. This thread binds lovers, and mothers to children through life. 

This series explores the transformation of threads, bodies, and species through the choices we make to love, and the consequences of this loving burden. 

The carnivalesque compositions show groups of bird-women and other hybrid creatures in “nature” spaces; a world of threatened nests, mothering birds, and unknown arrows.

In my work, I meld the archaic forms of painting and tapestry, with contemporary techniques to tell modern mythologies. I use multiple mediums transforming the compositions and regurgitating them in new forms.

I learned the craft of industrial knitting from my mother while growing up. The familial sharing of textile knowledge between women is a very prehistoric tradition, except in this case it was on a large industrial machine we kept in our house.

This has led me on a path of exploring science fiction/myth, ecology, mortality, and femininity, particularly through the lens of women, mothers, and the fragile perishability of textiles and therefore women’s history. 

The red ties that bind…wind (2021, 22x17 in)
Acrylic gouache painting on paper

The red ties that bind…wind (2022, 59x41in)
Industrially knitted tapestry with painting and embroidery


Unknown arrows tapestry(2021, 5x3.5 feet)
Industrially knitted tapestry with painting and embroidery
ON VIEW-The Wassaic Project "Tournament of Lies"
2022 Summer Exhibition

Unknown arrows painting (22 in x 26 in)
Acrylic gouache painting on paper
ON VIEW-The Wassaic Project "Tournament of Lies"
2022 Summer Exhibition

Loving exposes you to a world of anxieties, a fear of unknown arrows aimed at your expanded heart. 
In Jaqueline Rose’s book “Mothers: an Essay on Love and Cruelty” she writes of existing unattached (from children or lovers) by interpreting Euripides' Medea
“Those who do not have children are happier by far: no shadow of care, no unknowing as to whether your labours will produce good or bad children, no endless dread that, in the worst and final disaster, Death may take your child” 

 

A Rope and a Wheel, A Dress and a Squeal (2021, 18x23.5 in)
Acrylic gouache painting on paper

"What is it to take care of yourself? Getting paid? Getting laid? Getting married? Getting pregnant? Fighting for visibility in your market? Realizing your potential? Being healthy, being clean, not making a fool of yourself, not hurting yourself? ...What am I taking care of? I... Am I loving myself now? Am I mothering myself? Am I taking care of myself now?... Could I give you that, that which sometimes expects nothing? Accepting restlessness, accepting no direction, accepting this fearful wanting that isn't desire?” 
“Taking Care of Yourself” by Jenny Hval 

 



Time in a vine tapestry (2022, 27x48 in)
Industrially knitted tapestry with painting and embroidery


Time in a vine painting (2022, 7x9.5in/6x8.5in)
Acrylic gouache painting on paper


Wheel Woman (2022, 74x46 in)
Industrially knitted tapestry with painting and embroidery


Wheel Woman (2022, 7x9.5in)
Acrylic gouache painting on paper

“I feel your love. I feel time is up... I hear a song from inside the maze, the very one you made...When you have a child, so begins the braiding and in that braid, you stay” 
The Barrel by Aldous Harding


Whale Woman painting (2021, 19.5x21in)
Acrylic gouache painting on paper

“Tell me, why is the pain of birth lighter borne than the pain of death?...When cruel birth debases, we forget, when cruel death debases, we believe it erases all the rest that precedes. But stand brave, life-liver. The moment of your greatest joy sustains. Not ax nor hammer, tumor, tremor can take it away, and it remains. Love is not a symptom of time. Time is just a symptom of love."
“Divers” and “Time, as a Symptom” by Joanna Newsom

KPG (2022, 29x22in)
Acrylic gouache painting on paper

“The Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event was a sudden mass extinction of three-quarters of the plant and animal species on Earth, approximately 66 million years ago. With the exception of some ectothermic species such as sea turtles and crocodilians, no tetrapods weighing more than 25 kilograms (55 pounds) survived.
It marked the end of the Cretaceous Period, and with it the Mesozoic era, while heralding the beginning of the Cenozoic era, which continues to this day.
In the geologic record, the K–Pg event is marked by a thin layer of sediment called the K–Pg boundary, which can be found throughout the world in marine and terrestrial rocks.
A wide range of species perished in the K–Pg extinction, the best-known being the non-avian dinosaurs. It also destroyed myriad other terrestrial organisms, including some mammals, birds, lizards, insects, plants, and all the pterosaurs. 
In the oceans, the K–Pg extinction killed off plesiosaurs and mosasaurs and devastated teleost fish, sharks, mollusks (especially ammonites, which became extinct), and many species of plankton. 
It is estimated that 75% or more of all species on Earth vanished. 
Yet the extinction also provided evolutionary opportunities: in its wake, many groups underwent remarkable adaptive radiation—sudden and prolific divergence into new forms and species within the disrupted and emptied ecological niches. Mammals in particular diversified in the Paleogene, evolving new forms such as horses, whales, bats, and primates."
Wikimedia Foundation. (2022, July 25). Cretaceous–paleogene extinction event

Thank you to @canada.council for their generous support completing this body fo work

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"What is it to take care of yourself? Getting paid? Getting laid? Getting married? Getting pregnant? Fighting for visibility in your market? Realizing your potential? Being healthy, being clean, not making a fool of yourself, not hurting yourself? ...What am I taking care of? I... Am I loving myself now? Am I mothering myself? Am I taking care of myself now?... Could I give you that, that which sometimes expects nothing? Accepting restlessness, accepting no direction, accepting this fearful wanting that isn't desire?” 

“Taking Care of Yourself” by Jenny Hval 

“Tell me, why is the pain of birth lighter borne than the pain of death?...When cruel birth debases, we forget, when cruel death debases, we believe it erases all the rest that precedes. But stand brave, life-liver. The moment of your greatest joy sustains. Not ax nor hammer, tumor, tremor can take it away, and it remains. Love is not a symptom of time. Time is just a symptom of love."
“Divers” and “Time, as a Symptom” by Joanna Newsom

“I feel your love. I feel time is up... I hear a song from inside the maze, the very one you made...When you have a child, so begins the braiding and in that braid, you stay” The Barrel by Aldous Harding

“The Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction” by Ursula Le Guin 

"Mothers: An Essay on Love and Cruelty" by Jacqueline Rose

"The Lost Daughter" by Elena Ferrante

“Thou canst not kill the fruit thy body bore!” Medea by Euripides